Moving forward without holding on

Just wanted to catch up with myself.  I have been on Forteo for four months and it seems to be working with the aqua therapy.  I passed the first phase in aqua therapy and I now know how to safely exercise in the water with weights.  My primary care doctor has been fantastic on a game plan for my survival of the bone loss.  I have been taking vitamins that add to my bones, plant strong calcium is one and the other is vitamin D.  I have been eating plants, not as many as I like but I am moving forward.

I also found a Kale Supplement that is safe and effective and a Maximum Green Vitamin that also has calcium and antioxidants.  I have been learning to slow down in my life and smell the flowers so to speak.  Life passes way to fast and I don't want to miss my moments with my God and my health. 

I have been doing more Angel readings and helping others get in touch with their Spiritual Life.  That actually helps me immensely stay connected.  I have been meditating to Jon Kabat Zinn and do a Body Scan Meditation once a week at least to help strengthen my heart and mind for my recovery.

My new mantra is I will not be defeated.  It helps me to know I will fight for my bone health.  Since completing my aqua therapy I now safely work out and am looking forward to the next phase of my development. 

I am slow on vegan food but learning to enjoy fruit and vegetables in many forms.  I actually grew Tomatoes in my flower garden this year.  Which we are now starting to prosper. 

So today has been a good day; I went back to my old soulful spiritual books to help me regain a loving attitude towards my well being.  And this has helped me feel whole and abundant much more than I did before.  So with that I am moving forward for today~

Trudging the Road

So with my new information of Osteoarthritis in lower lumbar spine, I called my Gynecologist and of course could not get through.  I called at 8 am and was 8th in line on automated and when I finally got through I was on hold twenty seven minutes.  When I got through I could only talk to the nurse who said she would let the doctor know and see us on June 26th for follow up.

I went to my primary care, now I got a primary care in the building I work in which is in Cleveland.  This way I am not taking off work to go, but it is out of network so I am careful of making appointments.  I am not worried, my primary care's front desk is our patient so we are cool.  Anyways, I shared my information and then I had to call the facilities so she could see the results because of course they did not transfer records, even though I signed medical releases. 

My Doctor gave me 600mg Ibuprofen and a script to go for aqua therapy.  Exercising on the land is to dangerous for me is what she said.  My spine is a spine of 88 year old unhealthy woman.  She will get insurance approval and I am too go for 30 days and get evaluation and come back. 

I started on my journey, I went back to where I met the lady on the bench.  Akron General Life Styles on Steele's Corner Road.  I was evaluated and learned my lower spine is curving due to soft tissue.  I am weak so I could not complete some of the muscle tasks.  Shelia the therapist said it would take some time to strengthen you being bones are brittle and to not be discouraged.  I left with a whole month schedule of therapy.  Told not to do anything strenuous.  I said what do you mean.  For example your bones are so brittle they can break while you type.  Great~

I cried the whole way home to my God, wondering how this is possible.  I guess it is what it is.  I got home and shared with Frank that this was the road we were on now.  He agreed we will take it slow.  This was in end of May.  We decided to take our vacation and travel to North Carolina to see friends and then ride through the Smoky Mountains.  Best decision ever!!! 

I practiced my core exercises on the bike to strengthen my core, packed my medicine and other items and we were out the door.

It was amazing, 6 states in 5 days.  We traveled to North Carolina first and stayed at Lake Lure Inn and slept in the biggest bed ever.  That was our mission only King Bed's for us. 

We had a wonderful adventure and celebrate ourselves.  My medicine worked out well in the travel bad and every room we just got a refrigerator which turned out $10 extra.  Not bad.

It gave me hope and empowered our relationship to work together towards healthy living.  We actually ate really healthy on our trip with Frank running our for chips only once. 

I am ready now to trudge this road and move forward.

Moving Forward

Finally I find out I didn't have cancer, what a relief!!!!   Here it was osteoarthritis in lower lumber spine and degenerative disc disease.  Great~(sarcastically)

Just so happened the Forteo Support called me to see how my new pen was doing and if I had any pain~ duh I thought.  So I was honest and said how I have pain and what I just went through.  God bless the rep Amanda she listened and of course jotted down the update.  Here she lets me know that the main side effect is joint pain.  WOW~ I hadn't read that.  She said I will have it for two years and to learn to manage it.  So I listened to her and she shared how it means it is "building bone".  So to be in pain is good.  UG  but what an awakening,  I had no idea. 

It gave me hope believe it or not.  With my new findings I called my doctor. We started on a new plan moving forward.  I started with Aqua Therapy to build bone through strengthening exercises, since my bones were so brittle and happy exercises were too harsh.  So I ended up going back to Akron General Lifestyles -swimming.  I have not seen the lady since. 

I went for my evaluation and have a slight curvature of the spine and I am weak.  I cried a little when I was there but felt empowered and afraid at the same time.  I contacted my massage lady, Nikki who  is Gluten Free lifestyle and gave me some recipes to help with chronic inflammation.  I also contacted my Craniosacral Therapist and set up some appointments.  I will do anything natural~ anything

Back on the beam in health.  I workout in the water two to three times every other week.  Good thing my boss works with me on my schedule and my team is amazing.  I would not be able to leave work early to do it anywhere else.  Nor do I think I want to.

My boss let me get a massage chair for front office to help in my back.  My doctor stated I could get an osteo chair later if needed. 

Moving forward I share this information with hubby and he is now supportive.  I think he had to work out his fears, his wife needs help now.  It has been an adjustment.  I am no longer Super Woman.  He said I have been an inspiration, he is suppose to work out for his heart.

Everyone I meet in the pool has had an injury or some sort of disease.  I am the youngest and the only one so far with Osteoporosis.  The swim therapist loves me cause I am determined and funny.  I always laugh at myself and I am so honest sometimes it is funny. 

Swimming wear's me out, I am beat every week afterwards.  But I keep on trudging forward with support from friends and family.  We set off on vegetables and plant diet with lots of water.  I had to quit red bull and some chocolate but I have not given up gluten free gummy bears yet.  Don't think I will.  I learn that everything in the middle of grocery store is bad!  Twinkies went out of business so I am definitely ahead now.

Now I am on my second pen and doing core exercises everyday and swimming.  Life starts to get better and I feel stronger emotionally and spiritually.  Physically mmm not so much.  I am very careful and have developed a fear of falling. 

Moving forward has helped me not dwell in past and has empowered to try some new food every day or every other day.  It has allowed me to live in the moment and I am no longer taking my life for granted. 

Spiritual Guidance

Now we are off to get x-rays done, I wish I wrote them down, but one was a lower back and I went to Summa in the new Green Location in Akron, Ohio.  We were sitting waiting in the waiting room it was crowded, I stated I am in so much pain and my husband states so is he and he knows the feeling.  His arm has been hurting for months.  Well of course I am not in my right mind and so I say something sarcastic and rude and we start bickering.  I am like really out of all I have been there for you I would just like to get a little support.  In my mind I was angry and in my heart I was crying, I don't know if anyone ever felt like that but I here am scared and he is telling me about his arm that he refused to go to doctor about.  So I go on guard, in my mind and heart.  

I get the x-ray we leave and I get up and go to work.  We really don't talk.  I am stubborn that way.  Being Scorpio it happens sometimes unconsciously.

This is Wed and I go after work by myself, I don't tell my husband this time, I don't want complications.  I want to just take care of myself without his opinions.  So I go to Akron General Lifestyles before I go in I pray to my Creator for guidance, courage and openness.  I go in and they tell me this test is a two hour test and ray and will determine cancer and not sure if they can take a walk in.  I sit there still and I felt like I couldn't move.  Quietly the woman takes my information find's my records and says we will take you we didn't realize your were the ER they were talking about.  Now, in my mind I am like what?? ER?? Complete fear!  But I looked calm as a cucumber.  They were telling me how I have to drink stuff and so on and I felt like I was in a tunnel and the light was far, far away.

The nurses were wonderful.  I know I wouldn't of stayed if it wasn't for them, they could see the deer in the headlights.  I stayed and drank the barium.  I ended up calling Frank and he was on his way.  I went outside to sit among the flowers there was a wood bench with an older woman at the end reading.  She started talking to me about the flowers and that she was waiting for her scat bus.

I asked her if she was getting treatment and she said nope here swimming.  I said really I thought it was only radiology here she said nope been swimming here since it opened.  I said for therapy?  She said for my own. She went on to let me know that she has Osteoporosis and she had to swim in beginning because her bones were so brittle, she took the medicine and recovered and she still swims. She was 70 and has been swimming for twenty years. She went on to say how she could not depend on people, her children were grown and she was to depend on herself and trust God.   I was amazed, I was sitting next to her yet I felt like she was looking into my soul. I felt this warm light and it was sunny that day, but it was like a light warm and fuzzy. I said well that is something and I told her my story.  She told me that it will all work out to trust God and keep swimming.  Dependence on her God was most important. To listen with her heart she said.  Those words echo inside my heart today.   I said what bus are you waiting for sparking my curiosity she said the 12:15, we sat and talked about the flowers and then my husband pulled in parking lot.  I thanked her for encouragement and experience and walked to meet him.  I hugged and kissed him and told him about the woman I met.  I turned around to walk back to meet her and she was gone.  The bus didn't come by. 

That was interesting frank said. We just went on our way and I knew that was something different.  I then was on the second Barium and had my husband call my parents to let them know the severity.  They were worried and of course my mom was consumed with herself telling me her deal.  And was sure I did something to provoke this.  I couldn't take the call.  I couldn't listen to it.  I needed support and love not judgment.  

I swallowed my fear and went in to get this cat scan.  Prayed silently in my head and the nurse was fantastic talked to me when injecting me with the dye and encouraged me.  I knew my God was with me when I told the nurse of the woman I met outside while waiting for my husband.  She said at the flower bench, I said Yes and I spoke with her and she told me about her experience. It was nice talking with her, she was lovely.  The nurse said no I have never seen her, I said, she swims here in the pool.  (not even knowing where the pool was) she said, no only the women with osteoporosis see her.  I said what?  She repeated it.  I was quiet then and then I went in the tube.  I knew my God was with me.  Thank you God I whispered, I love you too.~

SHOCK

 The shock that my bones were so brittle that I could break a bone typing was a little overwhelming needless to say. I was in SHOCK.  I arranged for a meeting with my husband and my doctor because I am the kind of person that can help you do anything, and I mean it I am your biggest cheerleader.  But taking care me I don't know I just keep moving forward not thinking about it.  I don't know why but that is the way I am.

So we sat down and printed out a blue print of what was going to take place and how I was going to become disciplined in building bone.  I had a spine of a 88 year old woman and the rate my bones were going I was going to be in a wheel chair by 50.  You never think it will happen to you.  

The plan to be on Forteo for two years, eat a healthy diet, plant based if possible along with exercise. Ok check I was saying in my head.  But my heart was aching and my hands were shaking.  I don't like needles and I learned it is a little needle but still, to this day I am apprehensive a sticking myself.  But I had my brave hat on.  I went to class and learned how to do it.  I prayed to my God and cried myself to sleep a lot privately too.  I wasn't too hot on bawling in front of my loving husband who looked afraid too.  This changes things.  The doctor shared with me to be careful.  Okay in my mind what does that mean.  I am go getter so its going to be interesting.

That started my journey to healthy bones or bone therapy.  I started walking on the treadmill an hour a day.  Since I quit smoking I added about 12 pounds and thought it was a good idea.  So I walked a half hour and then rode a stationary bike.  I ransacked my meditation music being in recovery I have had a lot.  I found my Jon Kabat Zinn Guided Mindfulness Meditation and started with the Body Scan Meditation.  I called a friend who is a Vegan and shared with him my dilemma.  He suggested John McDougal.  I investigated and started with a journal on what foods to acquire in my diet.

Back in the day I was an all or nothing girl so I was giving this my all in a few months. 

So here it was still shocking, I didn't share it with to many people, I am actually a very private person, although it doesn't seem like it with all I do.  But I am.  I do not like to be front and center of attention especially with my feelings.

I shared with some close friends and my son.  My husband shared it with his family and I was not sharing with mine yet.  Like I said, I do not like attention.  That is why too I think I am writing this, because I don't want to forget the truth about my bone therapy.  I get so caught up in my feelings on this and I don't know why.  But I am pretty sure it is fear.

Anyways, I started Forteo what a task.  Its a pen and I attach each needle and inject.  So I do it in private and I put my big girl pants on when I do it.  It takes all about 30 seconds but its hard.  I put in my stomach cause I am fatty there, it bruises me instantly and then I count for 5 seconds.  I did this for 21 days and then the pen broke, it did not work.  So I called Forteo and after 5 hours on and off the phone at work I finally got a replacement pen.  What a chore. 

Sometimes it happens is what the rep says I am like really crazy.  So the first month, I take it at night because makes me sleepy. So it starts in April, I started exercising and eating plants once a week. 

By May I am walking and jogging in three minute intervals and I feel good, working out eating right, meditating, praying and so on.  I start to have back pain and so on.  Now I always have had back pain and now I know it was osteo but then I didn't.  I was into all pain gels at that point in my life. 

I am at work in mid May and in so much pain I cannot stand, sit or lay down, I tell my boss and I work in a hospital so she sends me to Radiology~ there I was for an hour with the head of Radiology checking everything.  Here all my muscles were good, they did Labs.  I went to my doctor and she sent me home with ibuprofen and pain pills.  I went home took medicine and went to bed and cried.  I felt like I was going to die. 

Finally woke up better.  Whew~ I went to work with discomfort and my doctor set me out with three xrays that we had to determine what it was.  So that week I left early to get them, I had to go to in network provider for the hospital setting I work in is not in network and way to expensive for us.  We were in shock once again. 

Second Stage Osteoperosis

So its been two years since diagnosed with Osteoporosis and I tried all that Doctor's suggested before.  Boniva didn't work, calcium and magnesium didn't work, exercising didn't build bone and I didn't exercise every day because my husband and come down with congestive heart failure.  It was a bit of an attraction that you couldn't avoid.  I did quit smoking, it's been two years and I feel amazing.  I will never smoke again. Ever.  It was the hardest thing I ever did, and at the time my husbands heart failing and we were taking care of his Alzheimer Aunt and his Dad was ill. 

We lost his Aunt and his Dad two years ago in 2011.  Since then just went about life, went for my bone density test this last March and here my bone density was -2.7 spine and pelvis was worse so then the challenges began. 

I started this blog because so many things have been happening and I wanted to keep track and it is easier for me to type then write.

With that, in March my doctor wanted me to choose a bone therapy pill (I call it).  This was to help me build bone and then follow up with exercise and plant based diet.  Well I was afraid due to side effects.  So I went to my husband and we talked about it and decided to go with Forteo.  An injection I would give myself once a day for two years.

This was quite scary to me since I have never been ill or anything wrong with me ever.  I had been married for nine years at this time and a teenage son and have been fortunate not to experience anything scary.  My worst fear is cancer not osteoporosis.  That has changed. I will be sharing my experience on this silent disease that I didn't take so seriously till now.  It sounds very stupid not to take it serious but since I wasn't in pain I really didn't realize I had it.

My life has taken a serious turn in April 2013 I was in serious pain.