Now we are off to get x-rays done, I wish I wrote them down, but one was a lower back and I went to Summa in the new Green Location in Akron, Ohio. We were sitting waiting in the waiting room it was crowded, I stated I am in so much pain and my husband states so is he and he knows the feeling. His arm has been hurting for months. Well of course I am not in my right mind and so I say something sarcastic and rude and we start bickering. I am like really out of all I have been there for you I would just like to get a little support. In my mind I was angry and in my heart I was crying, I don't know if anyone ever felt like that but I here am scared and he is telling me about his arm that he refused to go to doctor about. So I go on guard, in my mind and heart.
I get the x-ray we leave and I get up and go to work. We really don't talk. I am stubborn that way. Being Scorpio it happens sometimes unconsciously.
This is Wed and I go after work by myself, I don't tell my husband this time, I don't want complications. I want to just take care of myself without his opinions. So I go to Akron General Lifestyles before I go in I pray to my Creator for guidance, courage and openness. I go in and they tell me this test is a two hour test and ray and will determine cancer and not sure if they can take a walk in. I sit there still and I felt like I couldn't move. Quietly the woman takes my information find's my records and says we will take you we didn't realize your were the ER they were talking about. Now, in my mind I am like what?? ER?? Complete fear! But I looked calm as a cucumber. They were telling me how I have to drink stuff and so on and I felt like I was in a tunnel and the light was far, far away.
The nurses were wonderful. I know I wouldn't of stayed if it wasn't for them, they could see the deer in the headlights. I stayed and drank the barium. I ended up calling Frank and he was on his way. I went outside to sit among the flowers there was a wood bench with an older woman at the end reading. She started talking to me about the flowers and that she was waiting for her scat bus.
I asked her if she was getting treatment and she said nope here swimming. I said really I thought it was only radiology here she said nope been swimming here since it opened. I said for therapy? She said for my own. She went on to let me know that she has Osteoporosis and she had to swim in beginning because her bones were so brittle, she took the medicine and recovered and she still swims. She was 70 and has been swimming for twenty years. She went on to say how she could not depend on people, her children were grown and she was to depend on herself and trust God. I was amazed, I was sitting next to her yet I felt like she was looking into my soul. I felt this warm light and it was sunny that day, but it was like a light warm and fuzzy. I said well that is something and I told her my story. She told me that it will all work out to trust God and keep swimming. Dependence on her God was most important. To listen with her heart she said. Those words echo inside my heart today. I said what bus are you waiting for sparking my curiosity she said the 12:15, we sat and talked about the flowers and then my husband pulled in parking lot. I thanked her for encouragement and experience and walked to meet him. I hugged and kissed him and told him about the woman I met. I turned around to walk back to meet her and she was gone. The bus didn't come by.
That was interesting frank said. We just went on our way and I knew that was something different. I then was on the second Barium and had my husband call my parents to let them know the severity. They were worried and of course my mom was consumed with herself telling me her deal. And was sure I did something to provoke this. I couldn't take the call. I couldn't listen to it. I needed support and love not judgment.
I swallowed my fear and went in to get this cat scan. Prayed silently in my head and the nurse was fantastic talked to me when injecting me with the dye and encouraged me. I knew my God was with me when I told the nurse of the woman I met outside while waiting for my husband. She said at the flower bench, I said Yes and I spoke with her and she told me about her experience. It was nice talking with her, she was lovely. The nurse said no I have never seen her, I said, she swims here in the pool. (not even knowing where the pool was) she said, no only the women with osteoporosis see her. I said what? She repeated it. I was quiet then and then I went in the tube. I knew my God was with me. Thank you God I whispered, I love you too.~
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